Bond 'Parishioners' Are Leaving The Euro 'Church'

from (title unknown) by Tyler Durden:

Bond 'Parishioners' Are Leaving The Euro 'Church':

[...]
A man named Pedro was walking along a steep cliff one day, when he accidentally got too close to the edge and fell. On the way down he grabbed a $125 billion branch, which temporarily stopped his fall. He looked down and to his horror saw that the canyon fell straight down for more than a thousand feet.
He couldn't hang onto the branch forever, and there was no way for him to climb up the steep wall of the cliff. So Pedro began yelling for help, hoping that someone passing by would hear him and lower a rope or something.
“HELP! HELP! Is anyone up there? HELP!"
The Spaniard yelled for a long time, but no one heard him. He was about to give up when he heard a voice.

“Pedro, Pedro. Can you hear me?"
"Yes, yes! I can hear you. I'm down here!"
"I can see you, Pedro. Are you all right?"
"Yes, but who are you, and where are you?
"I am Heinz, Pedro. I am from Berlin."
"You are German? You mean, really German?”
"That's me."
"Heinz, please help me! I promise if, you'll get me down from here, I'll stop spending too much money. I'll act just like a German. I'll be financially responsible for the rest of my life."
"Easy on the promises, Pedro. Let's get you back up here safely; then we can talk."
"Now, here's what I want you to do. Listen carefully."
"I'll do anything, Heinz. Just tell me what to do."
"Okay. Let go of the branch.”
"What?"
"I said, let go of the branch. Just trust me. Let go."
There was a long silence.
Finally Pedro yelled, "HELP! HELP! IS ANYONE ELSE UP THERE?"